"Would you like white or brown?" If I were being asked to choose between dusky, dark eyed, Darius or the blonde, bulging muscled, Phillipe, I could have understood my difficulty in answering the question ..... But it was just a sandwich!!! Did I want my cheese on white bread or brown bread? ..... White or brown? Brown or white? Brown or white WHAT? I couldn't think, I couldn't make a decision, the waitress looked at me sympathetically ..... My mind went blank, I was confused.

It gets worse ..... Today I invented a new word! ..... 'Hapsidasical' ..... (A cross between Haphazard and Lacksidasical) Normally this would be a reason to celebrate, BUT I DIDN'T MEAN TO! ..... It just popped out of my mouth as I struggled to find just the right word to describe my boss's approach to health and safety in the workplace ..... OK, the word perfectly describes her approach ...... BUT THAT IS NOT THE POINT ..... I didn't want to say it ..... Could this be the onset of dementia?

My life today .....

My lover finally got the message! ..... What a bluddy performance though ..... We've had tears and tantrums, manipulation and threats (and that was just him)..... All he had to do was listen to my calm, assertive expression of needs in the first place ..... not too much to ask! However, I shouldn't moan, (It's bad for facial lines) he's got the message now, he loves me, and all is well in the world until the next time. I've stopped the countdown at 5 and it will be resumed if he fails to give me the attention I deserve. (If you are reading this darling ..... I love you too xxx) God, this love business is a total pain in the arse ..... I would not recommend it.

Lots of people have read my blog ..... well, at least three ..... and I have comments and private messages and stuff ...... I now feel I have a responsibility to my fans ......

Day 10 as a non smoker ..... No patches for 5 days!!! ..... Feelings of anger were coupled with feelings of deep grief ..... Yesterday I didn't know whether to burst into tears or hit someone ..... I did absolutely nothing because my brain was incapable of making a decision ...... Not demencia after all.

Thanks for your comments, much appreciated, I will reply soon.

Sparky x