It's a bit like starting a diet ..... Blogging I mean ..... You know the sort of thing ..... "I will just eat this last family sized 'Spotty Dick', start my diet on Monday and eat carrots and cauliflower for the rest of my life" ..... You have never heard of a Spotty Dick? ...... It's a huge steamed pudding made with suet and dried fruit, slimey on the outside and soft and steamy in the middle ..... Large ones are usually cooked in a piece of old bed sheet but, for the smaller family, grandads hanky will suffice. (It is very popular with working class Londoners, born pre 1965 ..... Don't ask why!)

As I was saying ..... blogging is like dieting ..... I started my blog, all those weeks ago, fully intending to write every single day and haven't been near a computer since.

Why?

Because my mid-life crisis has been cruely interupted by real life. There I was, wondering whether old age was upon me, cataloguing extra wrinkles and the like, when I was brought back down to Earth with a bang.

Two of my sisters have breast cancer! ..... Not one but two! ..... I know breast cancer is very common nowadays, but my sisters are years younger than me ..... just 36 and 44 ..... This is supposed to happen to older women! I feel a deep sadness ..... seeing someone who is close to you going through this is a most awful thing ..... But I also feel guilty that it is happening to them and not me ..... Don't get me wrong ..... I DON'T WANT BREAST CANCER ..... but I feel guilty that they have got it and I haven't ..... What is that all about?

It doesn't take a genius to see that there could be a genetic thing going on here ..... so we are going to have our genes checked ..... a blood test should do it ..... and I will know whether I can close my bra fund or not.

Ohhhhhhhh you don't know about my bra fund ..... Bluddy bra's!!! ..... My mum is knitting one for me as we speak ..... It is getting that desparate.

I have been trying to find a bra ..... that fits ..... for months and months and months. I consider myself a 'normal' woman ..... two large boobs, roundish, at the front of my body ..... nothing unusual there. So why, is it so hard to find a bra that fits? ..... I walked the lenghth of Oxford Street, went in every single store and didn't find a single bra in my size ..... Well, not one suitable for a woman in the middle of her midlife crisis anyway. (It has to be gorgeous and sexy and make me feel young and vibrant)

There was the white construction that could have housed a small family and inspired many a mountaineer ..... OK, it would probably win a prize for engineering but it was soooooooo ugly. I just want something pretty ..... with colour ...... and matching panties ..... preferably with round, rather than pointed, cups (They can be so dangerous)...... and in a size 36J ..... Not too much to ask, I think.

I understand that they can be found ..... at a price ..... I once saw a lovely one ...... beautiful, turquoise lace, matching thong ..... It was £65!!! ..... That is £32.50 per boob!!! ..... Hence my fund. ;)

Well, as they say, 'every cloud has a silver lining' ..... So, if the DNA test reveals bad news I can empty my bra account, get lagged and stop counting the wrinkles.

In the meantime, life goes on ..... Here I am, a trilby sitting on my head at a jaunty angle, looking death in the eye ..... and saying ..... Don't even think about it!

Sparky x

Anyone here know anything about punctuation?